Living, Learning And Loving it!

Where does the time go? I swear, I am somehow busier now than I was when I was up at 4:45am every day putting in a full day of work!

It has taken me a wee bit of skill and a whack of luck to implement some sort of sleep schedule for my darling 7 week old! After praying for and finally getting what I call my "5 in a row" I was thrilled to feel among the vibrant and the living when 4 days straight, each with 5 full hours of sleep made me feel like a new woman! I could finally endure my day without spontaneous bouts of narcolepsy and was able (and more than willing) to kick a few things off of my personal and professional to-do lists, because what mom doesn't strive for her version of Super Mom status?! We can do it all 100% of the time right? Right. (insert a giggle and some sarcasm)

And then it happened...the reality of what really happens when a new mom can sleep at night! Despite my new found energy, I actually can't get a damn thing accomplished! Lol! Before, I was so tired I couldn't even dream of the energy required for what needed to get done. Now, I have an awake little buddy that craves my undivided attention more often.

The catch 22 being, now that she sleeps through most of the night, I can't muster more than a few snippets of time, as Ava's naps have gone from 3+ hours to maybe 45-60 minutes each! Once I grab a snack or a meal (bless the ones I can eat with 2 hands), bathe and relieve my dogs, sure enough, the moment my butt hits the chair at my desk, the lil miss wakes! Her precious blue eyes and cutie coo can make me pull my hair out and cry loving tears all at once!

Sometimes I feel like I'm on candid camera..it's like, "this just happened right?"

But my frown always turns upside down as I attend to my little bundle with a full heart and know that somehow, some way, my time each day will balance as it should. Letting go of the structure and independence I once lived by and prioritized is very difficult for me. I was always very loyal to my work and husband especially, my friends, family and more. The transition feels in slow motion. But just because I wasn't terribly "productive" as far as my lists are concerned, I have to remember that I was one heck of a productive mom in the meantime. Bum changes, sleepy time baths, feedings, rocking, bouncing, kisses, walks and play time are what should remain on the top of my mental agenda everyday. When will she ever be an infant again?

Sleeping Beauty

I keep thinking I can do it all - all the time. Being an attentive, nurturing and loving mom IS a job and it takes more energy than I ever imagined, but the unconditional love and affection from your child is the best remuneration there is. I'm learning that motherhood isn't linear. My experience has been nil until only 7 weeks ago. I made the audacious and unrealistic assumption that Ava can get "scheduled" into my "old self schedule" (simple & easy peasey) and every daily intention will get met. Well, haven't I hit a learning curve huh? And curves aren't so linear are they? It's practically embarrassing to admit! It's impossible to prepare for the depths of change that goes on from the old daily grind and the face you once showed to the world.

However, what I can schedule, is how to stay real.  I now make sure that I begin my day with what I call, a gratitude walk (grabbing a pooch too lets me multitask this). In my head I remind myself daily about everything in life that I am grateful for. I carve time out for my workouts 2-3 times a week, appreciating that I have to start small for times sake and for my healing body. And do one thing a day that enables me to take better care of myself, even if it is a nap with babe or a hot bath or a quiet cup of coffee or even 20 minutes of pleasure reading.

This is my recent read and I love it! Every woman, no matter how old or young should embrace the bottom line of this book! Reconnecting with yourself, understanding who you are and embracing personal fulfillment IS ok and IS necessary, or the mom that you have to offer isn't going to be enough.

Embracing this stage of my life with excitement, gratitude and appreciation is extremely important to me and this book helped me redefine who I am as a woman and as a mother! If you have read it, or choose to read it, please share your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you!

In my next entry, another one of my hats will be worn! As a Homeopathic practitioner, I've tried a few natural and safe options to help with baby gas, no matter whether you're little one is bottle fed or breast fed. I'm happy to share what has worked best for us - so far!

Oh! And I haven't forgotten about my homemade protein bars too! When you have a munchkin in one arm, these are easy, "crap free" and portable! I often grab one throughout the day! I'll share a vegan/vegetarian recipe option too for you!

High fives to you, my fellow mom! May this post remind you of how important you are and how lucky you are to have the BEST job in the world! :)
Talk soon!
S